Confusion
by thehungrycaterpillar
Summary: A James and Severus slash fic, emotional and quite fluffy.
1. Confusion

"WAIT" James called out, while running after a dark retreating figure, fleeing down halls and stairs trying to desperately get away from his pursuer.

"Will you. Please. Stop. Running." Panted James still running, it had been about 10 minutes roughly now that he had been trying to catch up and it really wasn't working.

The boy in front stopped.

"What do you want from me?" he asked, quietly, his dark eyes assessing James, suspiciously "Have you come to torment me some more? Is this what you're doing? Haven't bullied me enough for one day?" he spat.

"I'm sorry." Said James, staring at the floor. The other boy, Severus, simply stared at him. "Say something?" pleaded James.

He looked sorry, observed Severus, his facial expression was pained and he didn't look cocky or as full of himself as he usually did. He looked guilty, like a little boy who'd pushed over one of his friends by accident but didn't know how to say sorry.

"You're sorry?" asked Severus, incredulously "When have YOU ever been sorry? When have you ever apologised for what you've done for me? Felt any remorse for your actions. You're a coward, you hide behind your status and front as the big tough guy and what is this? Running after the boy you've been torturing since the first day of school. Bollocks. All of it. Bollocks."

"I am sorry. I didn't realise. I didn't- I don't- Fuck it look I'm sorry I'm not good at apologising I've been thinking recently and I'm ashamed of the way I've acted and I never want to be that person again. I'm sorry. Really." James said, eyebrows furrowed.

"That's nice. I'm glad we've had this conversation. Now kindly fuck off and never talk to me again." Severus sneered angrily, and tried to push past James.

James, being a seeker, had fast reflexes so grabbed his hands to stop him escaping. Severus flinched as James reached for him, expecting to be hurt.

"I don't want to fight." James muttered.

"Then don't." Severus replied, shortly, before trying to make a break for it again. James stepped in front of him.

"Please?" James asked, eyeing him beseechingly.

Severus huffed and sat down on a nearby bench, and James sat next to him.

"Well?" asked Severus.

"Can we be friends?" asked James, too quickly to be heard.

"What?" asked Severus, frowning.

"Well only if you want to." James said, quietly, going pink.

"Want to what? I didn't hear what you said." Severus said, clearly confused.

"Can we be friends?" asked James again, this time clearly. Severus looked at him startled.

"Why would you want to be friends with me? I'm nobody remember." Severus mumbled.

"No, you're a nice person and a damn sight more decent to me than I'd ever deserve, after how I've acted towards you in the past." James replied.

"Well, I suppose we could be." Severus then said.

"Thank you." James said.

Severus suddenly realised the proximity of the other boy, he looked up at James, questioningly. James stared back at the boy; a smile played across him mouth.

Severus went to leave, believing the conversation to have finished.

"Wait," James said, once again holding onto Severus' arm, "Don't go." So Severus sat down again. They sat in silence for a minute before either boy realised that James was still holding onto Severus' arm. Severus coughed and James, called to attention noticed and went bright red.

"Oh I'm sorry." He said pulling his hands away, looking awkward.

"Oh no, It's okay I don't mind." Severus replied, looking equally as awkward.

James stared at the other boy a moment before processing what he had just said. But James was fast and he caught on quite quickly.

James closed in the space between the boys and leaned in to kiss Severus, who, surprisingly enthusiastically responded. That was the first of many stolen moments on the grounds of the most famous wizarding school to ever exist.


	2. Peace

"James, I've come to say I'm glad you've stopped being horrible to Severus," An outspoken ginger girl had said to James, a week after the first kiss, "and that I hope that you will maintain this.". Lily smiled. She knew James could get over his aversion to Severus in the end.

"I never tried before, but now I can see exactly why you've always been friends with him," James replied, supressing a grin "He really is a lovely person."

Lily Evans smiled. "Thank you," she said "For trying.". James knew she meant involving Severus in his friendship group and making sure nobody made fun of him.

"Hey," he said quietly, squeezed her hand and smiled, "Don't worry about it, I'll look after him for you.".

Lily smiled gratefully, "Also I was wondering if this weekend, you know, it's a hogsmede on and if you had any plans and maybe if not…" Lily trailed off.

"LILY!" shouted a boy, from the edge of the lake, who ran the whole way there and looked slightly insane when he reached them, James frowned at him. "Oh, hi James! Look Lily I was searching for you everywhere, I was wondering if you wanted to come to hogsmede with me this weekend?" asked the boy, named Frank Longbottom.

Lily looked at James for a moment, who smiled at her encouragingly, "Yes, thank you Frank, that'll will be great." Lily replied, beaming at him. Frank turned to James and grinned.

"I'd apologise for taking away the girl but you've already got your hands full." He said, grinning manically before laughing, lightly punching James on the shoulder and running off again.

Lily's facial expression was rather bemused. "What?" she asked James, who looked slightly alarmed.

"I'mtakingSeverusonadate" James said, once again too fast for anyone to understand.

"What?" asked Lily

"I'M TAKING SEVERUS ON A DATE!" shouted James, running his hands through his hair looking very stressed.

Passing hufflepuffs started shouting at them "GET IN THERE POTTER" "EYYY" "GOT YOUR MAN NOW" "OOF I WOULD".

Lily looked like she was torn between laughing and exploding. "I don't. What?"

"It's easier to be a prick to someone than to man up and admit your true feelings." Replied James, weakly.

"Right. Okay. Well this has been interesting, I'll see you later." Lily giggled, who went to turn away, before deciding to run and hug James.

"I FUCKING KNEW IT." She shouted, while running off. James saw down on the grass, and Severus took off the invisibility cloak he'd been wearing the whole time. James looked over at him and smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling, he held out his hand and Severus took it. They got up after a few minutes and walked around. Nobody was particularly taken aback by the series of events as most people had thought it was only a matter of time before the boys got together.

They walked around chatting until the sun started to set, at which point they went and sat by the edge of the lake, lying in the grass.

"Severus." James whispered, turning on his side to face the other boy. Severus smiled.

"Yes." He whispered back.

James turned on his front and stared at Severus for a moment before continuing.

"I love you." James whispered.

Severus opened his eyes and stared at James for what felt like years. "I love you too." Severus whispered, smiling and leaned over and kissed James on the forehead before pulling him close to cuddle up warm and they continued to watch the sun retreat and the stars to come out.

"It's beautiful here." Severus said, after a while.

"Only with you." James said quietly, before falling asleep curled into Severus' side.


	3. Uncertainty

"Well it's just that, I really like her, not that I don't like you Lily, but I don't think you like me that way…" stuttered Frank Longbottom, looking quite guilty.

"Oh it's fine, don't worry about it, but I wish you'd of told me earlier, now I haven't got any backup plans" Lily replied, frowning slightly.

"I'm ever so sorry Lily." Frank mumbled cheeks red.

"AHA!" shouted a boy, who seemingly came out of nowhere. It was James. "LILY I have found you a date."

"Oh?" asked Lily, looking rather scared at this point. Severus was laughing, holding James' hand.

"BLACK!" Shouted James and Sirius came bounding over.

"Yep?" asked Sirius, he was tall and graceful instead of downright lanky like James, despite this, the two could be brothers.

"You think Evans is fit don't you?" asked James, straight to the point.

"Damn right, I would." He relied, before barking a laugh and winking at Lily, who was blushing furiously.

"And Lily, you think that Sirius is sexy, don't you? DON'T LIE TO ME!" James said, giving her a knowing look.

"YOU!" she shouted at Severus "YOU TOLD JAMES!" At this point Severus was in stitches so Sirius took the moment to embarrass her further.

"You think I'm sexy?" He asked Lily, wiggling his eyebrows. Her eyes were wide and she looked vaguely panicked "We're done here." He stated, before taking Lily's hand and walking off down the road to Hogsmede.

The group set off and went their separate ways, James and Severus went straight to honeydukes. "Hmm…" James was muttering to himself. Severus watched him, not having much money he couldn't afford anything. James had a bulging bag of food already. He finished picking and paid up, and they left the store.

James led the way to a large grass area, which was off the main track, they sat down and James pushed the sweets toward Severus. "For you." He said.

Severus stared at him for a moment "Oh but I can't, it's all yours." He said, while pushing it back.

James leaned across and took both Severus' hands in his, "Listen, Sev. What's mine is yours, I don't care, I love you and I want to share everything I have with you, I'm yours."

"I don't know…" Severus mumbled, looking unsure of himself. James gently lifted Severus' chin so he was looking at him.

"Trust me." James whispered, before kissing Severus gently.

The boys stayed there for a few hours, they lay watching the clouds, snuggled up together, peaceful and perfectly content in each other's company.

After some time had passed, and they had eaten and fed each other the sweets they had bought, they made their way back to the castle, hand in hand, happier than they had ever been before.


	4. Close

James and Severus stayed together, longer than they could have imagined, they loved each other and it simply worked for them. Months had passed and the Christmas holidays were coming up.

"Severus…" James started, Severus turned to look at him "Are you going home for Christmas?"

"No." Severus replied shortly, casting his eyes to the ground.

"Well, I was wondering, if you don't want to, it's fine don't worry about it, but if you'd like to, you could maybe come to my house?" James asked, sounding nervous and not at all like himself.

"Oh no, I couldn't. Christmas is family time." Severus mumbled.

"I told my parents, you know, about you and me, and they said they'd really like to meet you, they want you to be part of our family. It is family time, and I want you to be within mine." James replied, seriously.

"I don't know… I mean I'd like to but I'd feel like I'm trespassing." Severus said, awkwardly.

"Bollocks, they want to meet you. So you're coming then?" asked James, smiling.

"Only if you want me to." Severus said, smiling back.

"OF COURSE I DO!" shouted James, exasperated, Severus laughed and then hugged James. "I need to owl my ma!" he said, getting up quickly, kissing Severus and sprinting off in the direction of the owlery.

The next day, James found Severus and told him that his ma was very excited to meet him, and finally, though Severus had not met the Potters, he felt a sense of belonging within a family.

Severus' father had passed away the year before, and to be truthful, it didn't sadden Severus in the slightest; he was a horrible man and had been cruel to Severus and his mother, his mother who was slowly now coming out of her shell, and was much happier.

Severus' mother now had a job in an apothecary shop on diagon alley and she would be very busy over Christmas, that's why he wasn't going home. He felt like he should, but she said not to, so there was nothing to be done about it.

He owled his mother telling her that he was staying with the Potters, she replied shortly and didn't ask any questions.

The end of term came and the Hogwarts Express pulled into Kings Cross station. James got the bags and let Severus take the lightest one only; they hauled their possessions onto the platform. Severus looked sick with nerves.

"Hey," James whispered to Severus, nudging him "It's going to be okay." He took Severus' hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, before spotting his mother, he waved to her and she made her way over.

"Oh James! Look at you! Really! You need to stop growing! Ahh is this your boyfriend, Severus? It's very nice to meet you my dear." Mrs Potter chattered to them, while bringing in a surprised Severus for a hug.

"Oh such a sweet boy, you are so lucky James." Mrs Potter said, pinching James' cheek. James' whole face went bright red and he looked mortified, Severus was grinning.

They made their way to the Potter house, and were greeted there by Mr Potter "Boys!" he boomed, "James for gods sakes stop growing! Hello there Severus, it's nice to meet you." he smiled, offering his hand, Severus shook it nervously and Mr Potter patted him on the back.

James took the bags upstairs, leaving Severus in hallway for a moment, before coming back down, and kissing Severus. Mr Potter came out of the living room chortling "Get a room you two! Speaking of, show Severus where you two will be sleeping." Mr Potter told James, who unabashedly took Severus' hand and dragged him upstairs.

Severus was led into a large room with a massive king size blue bed on the middle. "Umm…" Severus mumbled.

"If you don't want to share I can sleep on the sofa it's fine." James said, forward as ever.

"Oh no, I don't mind sharing." Severus replied, blushing. James laughed and kissed his cheek. It was going to be an interesting holiday.


	5. Estranged

It was 3 days before Christmas, and James had gone out with his mother, leaving Severus and Mr Potter to their own devices.

"Are you sure this is a good idea James?" asked Mrs Potter, worrying as ever.

"I'm sure of it, and you don't mind, do you?" James asked back.

"Of course not, it's no trouble at all." Mrs Potter replied, beaming at her son. The two found themselves at the entrance of the apothecary shop. James swallowed and frowned, before opening the door, which rang as it opened, which made both the Potters jump, which then they laughed at.

"Can I help you?" asked a woman, with a badge that declared her name to be Primrose.

"I was wondering if an Eileen works here, and if so, may I talk to her for a moment?" enquired James, politely.

"Of course," The woman said, smiling, "I won't be a minute." A minute or so later a dark haired woman came out from the storage rooms from where the woman named Primrose collected her.

"You called for me?" asked Eileen, looking slightly confused. James looked slightly panicked so Mrs Potter stepped in.

"Hello there dear, I'm James' mother, he goes to school with your son, who's staying at our house." Mrs Potter said.

Eileen looked worried "Is Severus alright?" a frown pinched her pale face.

"Oh yes he's quite fine, I just wondered if I could ask you to our house for Christmas day, if you have other plans, it's not a worry, but we would love it if you'd join us." Mrs Potter asked, beaming at her.

"I-well-I –I couldn't possibly interrupt…" Eileen said, somewhat nervously.

"Oh not at all, we'd absolutely love it, we have a spare bedroom which we've got all prepared for you." James said, finally speaking up.

Eileen smiled at the boy, "Well, if it's no bother, that sounds lovely."

"I'm so glad," James said, grinning now "I think Severus was worried about you being alone, I didn't tell him we were coming to ask just in case you couldn't."

Eileen laughed "All that boy does is worry, I would be fine, mind you, this does sound more fun," She said "I have to finish my shift now and I'm working tomorrow, so I can come the day before and on Christmas?"

"That sounds wonderful, my dear, I'll be so glad to have some female company in that house full of boys!" Mrs Potter said, and laughed together with Eileen "Here's the address, pop over any time!"

"Thank you so much." Eileen said, smiling, she gave them each a hug.

"I'll see you in a minute James." Said Mrs Potter, before disapparating.

James stayed there and talked to Eileen for a good half an hour longer before going back to his house.

As he came through the door Severus rushed at him and gave him a massive hug.

"Are you okay?" James asked. Severus nodded and took his hand and they went inside.

That night Mrs Potter cooked them all soup and they sat together as one family. However, Severus missed his mother, but he wouldn't say it, he might look ungrateful, but the Potter home was where he belonged now too, so he didn't mind as much.


	6. Maternal

It was the day before Christmas, and the Potter household was quiet except two snoring teenage boys and Mrs Potter being helped by a clumsy Mr Potter with preparing everything for the next day.

An hour or so later, the boys woke up and sleepily made their way downstairs, and ate some toast, before a loud knocking on the door.

"Sev, can you go get it?" asked James, yawning. With that Severus got to his feet and made his way to the door, and James quietly followed him. Severus unbolted the door and was greeted by the sight of his mother, bags in tow.

"Surprise!" shouted Eileen in a complete cliché and Severus bounded up to her for a hug.

"MUM I missed you so much!" he said, grinning "What are you doing here?"

"James and Mrs Potter invited me." She replied, confused. Severus turned around to see James grinning at him broadly.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!" he squealed, in a not at all like himself fashion, before giving James a massive hug too. As Severus broke away from the hug James kissed him gently. Severus looked over to his mother to see her reaction, but she was still beaming.

"You told her?" asked Severus, and James nodded.

Mr Potter brought in Eileen's bags, whilst James and Severus were having a whispered argument.

"What if it had gone badly? What if she didn't accept it? You should have told me!" whispered Severus, his usually calm demeanour now lost.

"If I thought she'd of had a bad reaction I wouldn't of told her! Besides she said she already thought it!" James replied, frowning.

"That's not the point!" Severus snapped.

"Then what is? She's here, she's happy, and most importantly so should YOU." James said quietly, looking hurt.

"I'm sorry. Just- I don't know- tell me next time before you make any crazy decisions." Severus said, squeezing James' hand.

"I know I should of told you but it was meant to be a surprise." James said, squeezing Severus' hand back.

"Thank you." Severus said, finally, James grinned.

"You, too." James replied.

The family had tea together and then went off to bed. Severus and James lay in bed talking for a while.

"What do you want to do after Hogwarts?" asked James

"Something to do with potions, maybe I can become a healer," Severus said, smiling "What about you?"

"I don't know," James said, thoughtfully "I've always been good at quidditch, but I'd like to be an auror too."

"That's dangerous." Severus said, frowning.

"Stop worrying," James whispered, before kissing Severus on the forehead "I'll be okay, don't you worry."

"Do you want to get married when you're older?" asked Severus, shyly, not wanting James to think he was getting at anything.

"Yes," James said, "Yes I do." He then moved so he was lying on his side cuddled up to Severus, and closed his eyes.

"To who?" asked Severus, but James was already asleep.


	7. Inseperable

Sun rose over the Potter household, bright and early, for once, the teenage boys awoke.

"Severus!" James trilled in Severus' ear "PRESENTS!"

As Severus came to, James rolled out of bed onto the floor, before getting up and pulling on some suitable clothing.

"C'mon, c'mon," James sang, as Severus climbed out of bed and put on some clothes. "Yay let's go!" James grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him out of the room, above the doorway there was some mistletoe, which Severus took as an opportunity to kiss James, again.

The boys came into the living room, where Eileen, Mr and Mrs Potter were waiting.

James went over to the tree and retrieved everyone's presents. "For ma, for pa, from me and Severus, for you Eileen, from us, one for me from Eileen, thank you, and one from ma and pa, thanks, one for Eileen from ma and pa, and vice versa," everyone sat down with their presents. Severus frowned.

"I'm only kidding here are yours , one from my ma, from my pa and one from Eileen. Oh would you look at that? 5 from me, wow, someone IS generous." James said, laughing.

"Oh wow!" said Severus, "thank you!" and so everyone each opened their gifts until it was only the boys who had yet to open each other's.

"Sev, open the big ones first." James instructed. Severus opened the biggest, which was a solid gold cauldron, with his name engraved in the side.

"OH WOW!" Severus squealed, giving James a massive hug, "Thank you so much!" James grinned at him.

"You've got a few to go through so we'll save thank yous until the end." James said, winking at Severus, who grinned at him.

James opened Severus' present to him, it was a leather bracelet, engraved with their names and the date they had first kissed, it was beautiful in every way and James loved it instantly

The second present for Severus was a guitar, Severus's guitar, he had played guitar before James had "accidently" broke it in third year, James had fixed it and restored the gloss to the woods and replaced the strings and tuned it.

The third present was dress robes, glossy darkest black dress robes with pure silver fastenings, tailored to Severus' size.

The fourth present was a set of old potions journals, which James had seen Severus looking at a few weeks ago in Florish and Blotts

The fifth was a small box inside a small bag; Severus opened the bad and took out the box, which James took from him, "Close your eyes," whispered James. Severus closed his eyes for a moment "Open."

Severus opened his eyes to see a thin band of silver, a small ring, in the box, and James on one knee.

"Severus, will you marry me?" James asked, smiling at Severus gently.

"Yes," Severus said "Yes I will." With that, James slipped the ring onto Severus' ring finger and kissed him, and everything was perfect.

Severus and James looked over to their parents, who had known about this all along, and to their surprise saw Mr Potter crying, with Eileen and Mrs Potter hugging.

"I'm so proud boys, I'm so proud." Mr Potter said, clearly choked, and the boys went over to hug him, a few hours later they ate together as a family.

Severus and James went for a walk in the garden, and ended up lying in the grass again, looking at the stars.

"It's beautiful here." Severus said, after a while.

"Only with you." James replied quietly, before falling asleep curled into Severus' side.


End file.
